ESSENTIAL TRAVELLER SLANG

THE BIG SCORE:  every Traveller’s dream.  Most Travellers only dream of the big score, but Wayne and Dahlia Malloy experience it first hand in Eden Falls.

BLUE PLATE SPECIAL:  one of Cael’s favorite cons, this one involves selling something while its owner is away.  This con works with everything from meals to wheels, so long as you talk fast.

BUFFER:  the Traveller word for normal everyday law-abiding folk.  Buffers are often gullible, naïve, and boring.  Or so the Malloys thought before they moved to Eden Falls.

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL:  a Traveller survival motto.

BUMPING: the act of cracking a lock by inserting a key cut to its deepest point and tapping gently until the pins of the lock fall into place.  Didi is quite the bumper. Come to think of it, so is Cael.

CANT:  the secret language of the Travellers. Its roots are in ancient Gaelic.

CLOB THOOSIK:  cant for “complete idiot.”

CRIMINAL:  a derogatory term buffers mistakenly apply to good folks like Wayne and Dahlia.  They are not con-criminals, they are con-artists.

DOOR TO DOOR:  charity scams.  Dahlia’s southern smile hooks all the husbands of any neighborhood into this one.

DRUNKEN MONKEY:  a favorite of Wayne’s, this scam involves catching a mark off guard by playing drunk.  (Wayne is particularly skilled at weaving this scam into a SLEEPER when he needs to.)

ELIZABETH TAYLOR:  the standard of beauty and dress applied to young Traveller girls and their mothers.

THE FLYING MALLOYS:  Wayne and his family on their best game.  Unstoppable!

GORY AT THASP KEENER FORTHA KARABD:  “Laugh at the world, but weep for those who leave it too soon.”  A Traveller saying.  Dahlia whispers this in the Pilot episode of The Riches, as the bodies of Doug and Cherien Rich sink into the Louisiana swamp.

IRISH DUMPLING:  a delicious secret Traveller recipe.  Organ meat is an absolute requirement.

KUSH:  money, the good stuff.

LAAKEEN:  cousin. 

LEASING:  prior to a Traveller wedding, a process by which a Traveller fiancé goes to live and work at their future in-laws’ place.  (This is why Ken Danegan moved in with the Malloys/Riches last season.)  Sometimes a brother and sister of one family will marry a sister and brother of another to “balance the books.”

LEERKEY SAJICK:  stupid cop.

LOOPING:  the practice among young Southern Traveller ladies of sashaying around a loop, wearing their finest clothing and jewelry and trying to catch a suitor’s eye.  The looping ritual is performed at both weddings and wakes, with the men usually serving as supportive spectators (while they pick the girl of their dreams!)

MELON DROP:

Step One: “accidentally” run into your mark and drop your very expensive looking package.

Step Two:  shake newly broken anniversary gift for your wife (really just smashed beer bottles from dumpster).

Step Three:  guilt buffer out of cash.

MOLLY BRANNIGAN : street performing for cash, as featured in Season Two’s “Slums of Bayou Hills” episode.

NORCHES:  Travellers’ homes on wheels.

PIG IN A BLANKET:  posing as a cop.

PICK-UP TRUCK:  vehicle of choice for many Travellers.

RUG BURN:  Sam’s specialty.  He fits himself inside a rolled up rug being ‘delivered’ to a home or office.  Sam even pulled this one at a museum once.

SECRET SQUIRREL:  the role Sam usually plays when the family is in trouble. Someone who sneaks inside a car or house to steal while the buffers are distracted.

SPIT AND SHINE:  an elaborate con of raffling a shiny borrowed car, as featured in Season Two’s “Friday Night Lights” episode.

*****ER LIST:  list of people who have previously been successfully conned.

SCULL KRUSH:  Get.  Out.  Now.

SLEEPER (as in “to Pull a Sleeper”) :  to pretend you’re narcoleptic and pass out when a con is going very poorly. This is the lamest trick in the Traveller con artist book. Wayne had to resort to “a sleeper” in last season’s “The Big Floss” episode.

SUMMER SQUASH: ? a delicious dish of squash, tomatoes, and bacon, this is a classic Traveller offering to the ‘new neighbors.’  Slip some roofies in the mix and reap the offerings of their house while they sleep.

TRAVELLERS:  a small secretive and nomadic group of Irish gypsies who really do live in America and Ireland today. Most are honest, some are not.

WAYNE’S FAMILY RULES:

RULE #1:  Family First

RULE #2:  If family disagrees, go to a vote.

RULE #3:  If family still disagrees, Dad makes final decision.

CRUCIAL CON MAN TERMS:

TELL:  giveaway that you’re bluffing

FIX:  cooperation bought from police

OUT:  don’t let the mark feel cornered

STALL:  temporarily prevent mark from getting in on action, make him want it more

GRILL:  when a mark grills you on your personal background and history